gosh. it has been raining since afternoon. . switched my drowsy mood on.

i'm on mc today. the fact that i woke up with a really bad headache, and slight fever.

yes. im feeling better after medication. but that feeling sucks. . like a damn bad hangover. .

i just woke up from my nap not long ago, ate dinner not long ago. . . but i think the flu med has just taken effect. . i feeling kinda seh seh. . . abit like . . very dizzy n feel like puking. .

doctor asked me a funny question. r u pregnant ? there he goes again. . thou its a different doc from the last time i saw. . y always ask me the same qns ?

actually im very SILLY. . i wished i was pregnant. i wantED to have a family of my own soon. . i wantED to have my own home. . probably because of my family background. . u wouldnt know how much i envy people whose parents are there for them. . haha. den ppl will tell me "but u're still young" seriously i dun mind. . .

but what's the point of saying these now ? haha. i doubt its gonna happen to me anyways. i always spoil my own relationships. . orbi good.

one day passed just like dat. but the agony somehow didnt lessen @ all. . had a very bad nightmare during my nap in the afternoon. . still can rmb the words that he shouted on me. . everything. . . hais. orbi good. i brought these all upon myself. .

i brought strain to this relationship. now my dreams are shattered. maybe i really put in too much hope already. . i dunno how to face him anymore. . needless to say to talk to him or text him. . thou i did text him today to tell him i aint feeling well and stuffs like dat. . but the feeling's different alrdy. .

我好害怕… 真希望睡了就永远不要醒来。。 已没有什么东西值得我期待的。。 只希望时间能够倒转。。 我真的好恨我自己！！