darn. yes i know its been a month or so since i updated my blog.

but right now. i really have to blog down my thots. . if not im gonna breakdown soon. .no, i am already breaking down. . cant sleep @ all. . hate this feeling u know. u are damn TIRED, but u cant get to sleep. .

the last time i had this kind of feeling was when i know the truth about mum having another guy.

yes. the tears-session lasted me for about 3 days. .

maybe i got stronger already. im not crying that badly anymore. . but still the heart aches that badly.. my tears just wouldnt flow. i wish it had. something like. . taking a knife & piercing it into ur heart.

yes. i screwed up everything. i admit im the WORST girlfriend in the world..

i aint supportive in the right way. i do things without bearing consequences. i let ppl detest me.

all these thing wasnt what i wanted in the very first place.

nagging @ him when i know he was tired. being late for dates everytime when i know he detest late-comers. complain to him bout his family when i know his family is his priority.

HAHA. Laugh @ me. im the world biggest fool right. . go ahead. . .

instead of helping him to clear the load of his mind. what did i do. nag @ him, quarrel . . to make things worse, i keep on triggering him . . just like purposely provoke a wild bore.

i wanted to help him so much. . when i came to know about his problems. i offered him what i could do. . but still i felt damn helpless. he said its not my problem . . its his own problem and he'll settle it on his own. . but im his girlfriend. to me, his problem is mine & vice versa.

CINDY. where are you ? i hope u r here man! aww.

but seriously speaking . . . i feel we both really lack of communications. i tried to talk to him, STUPIDLY. by asking stupid questions. . so its my fault. . but if i don't probe anything, he wouldnt come n talk to me. . . i really feel DAMN NEGLECTED.

fuck. i really don't know. . tml's closing. the last closing im gonna have in this company.

AND I BET. ITS GONNA BE A BAD WEEK FOR ME.

im gonna hide inside my tortoise shell.

i HATE myself.

Labels: i'm the WORST girlfriend EVER